You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
