is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We had to coat check the pizza.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
