I got chris browned last night
I just pynch a tree in the face
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize