:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
