I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
