Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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