Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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