I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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