My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
