Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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