put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
