I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
