careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
