no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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