Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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