Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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