Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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