I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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