Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
