I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
