I smell stomach acid.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
