TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
