That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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