He told me they were just razor bumps!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
