I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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