when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize