What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize