Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
True college students do jello shots in the library
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
