Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
