His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
