I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
