Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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