My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
