i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
