It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
