I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
