my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
