We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How's work?
Spinning.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
And then he peed in my hair
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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