I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
