I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
