did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
