My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
