that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What drink are we having for lunch?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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