i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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