At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have post one night stand depression
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
