just tell him i said nine months
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
