are you still at the devil's house?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
