I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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