hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
