I'm eating all of the evidence.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize