He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
