If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
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