Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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