so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
