We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
