I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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