She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
