just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
