every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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