My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Randomize
