we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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