Is it because I queefed?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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