is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize