i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
