im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
