his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
