i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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