What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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