I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
