very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
