OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
