There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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